How will you relate to others this week?©

The Power of TED*

Lynda’s Launch List

Making Shift Happen
by:  Lynda McNutt Foster

Relating to others has a great deal to do with your thoughts, feelings and behaviors according to David Emerald, author of The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic).  In fact, his research and concepts were recently endorsed by the internationally acclaimed author of Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. HERE’s the post Elizabeth wrote about David.

There are two types of mindsets.

The Problem Orientation that results in the Dreaded Drama Triangle of roles that includes Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer and looks like this:

  • “Why me?”
  • Blame and Frustration
  • “It’s not my fault/responsibility”
  • Powerless
  • Burnout (anyone relate to this one raise your hand high!)
  • Perpetual fire drills (Can anyone say Quadrant I?)
  • Things don’t get completed and “Continuous Partial Attention”
  • Drama

The Outcome Orientation that results in the Empowerment Dynamic and includes roles like the Creator, Challenger and Coach and looks like this:

  • “I/we can do this.”
  • Satisfaction and energized
  • “What’s the next step?”
  • “Creative Exhaustion” (The good kind!)
  • Learn from mistakes (no more blame game)
  • Empowerment

Making the shift from a mindset of the Problem Orientation to one of empowerment can take some time and focus.  Intellectually knowing what to do and actually doing it can be quite the hike.  Progress, not perfection.

EXERCISE for your team this week:

1)  In what areas are you Outcome focused? These are people, projects and situations that team members feel empowered to create the outcomes they want to see.   When do team members are energized by the obstacles that arise and see opportunities and possibilities?   When are they feeling and thinking like a Creator while coaching and challenging themselves and their team members?

These are the “bright spots” that we discussed in last week’s Launch List article.

2)  In what areas are you Problem focused?  These are situations, people and projects that you always seem to react to and feel anxious about.  You pivot from frustration that manifests into persecuting yourself or others, or maybe rescuing or looking for a rescuer, or jumping right into the victim pool – yuck!

These are the areas where you need to ask yourself and team members, what do we want?

See if one of the bright spot areas can be applied to one of the problem focused areas.  Be creative.  Realize that you might not be able to see all angles of the situation from your perspective.  You might need outside assistance to find solutions to the situation.  Asking for help is a sign of intelligence and strength, not weakness.

BONUS TIP:  EMAIL FREAKOUT.  This is defined at the moment AFTER you hit SEND and you realize there is no way you should have done that.  No way to turn back the hands of time and get that puppy out of the cloud, right?  WRONG.  Thanks to my super smart and helpful friend, Joe Cluster with Goodwill Industries of the Blue Ridge, he helped me find a way to delay your sent messages so you COULD stop them before you made a really big mistake.

 

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